I've always joked that my three majors aren't a result of overambition (or even plain ambition...), but indecisiveness. And it is really not a joke, but the plain truth. I really like psychology, Spanish, and political science. I couldn't decide which was more important to me. So I chose them all .... without knowing how they'd amalgamate, but just hoping that someday they did.
And for years, they remained separate entities. I studied US elections, abnormal psychology, and Spanish literature of the 1800s; everything remained compartmentalized. I was frustrated - putting effort into a triple major just seemed more nonsensical and less worth it as time wore on. Nothing felt right. I attended classes, took exams, wrote papers - and wasn't enjoying it, I was simply going through the motions. Things didn't fit.
I've realized that this has FINALLY changed. I've written a few recent papers that have shown cohesion between all of my majors. I just finished a Spanish research paper on the effects of the intended audience on politicians' rhetorical complexity. I drew upon my time in Chile, the Spanish language, psychological measures of complexity, political volatility in elections. I never expected that it would be Spanish linguistics that provided the outlet for my three majors, but it did. Now I'm working on a research paper that shows the effects of education on voter participation, especially in nationalized immigrant communities in the US. Things have clicked.
I've rediscovered how wonderful it is to hand in work that I'm proud of, rather than just assignments I've completed. I feel like these assignments have re-lit a fire under me. Things make sense. I'm passionate in what I'm doing again.
I lost faith in the fact that things work out the way they're supposed to. Even when things get tough, and seem as nonsensical as they had recently, I need to remind myself that I've never been entirely screwed over in the past. So today (and yesterday), I'm thankful for this reminder.
Oh. And this weekend, I also (#17) wrote a letter AND! (#20) did my laundry! WAHOO!!!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
#57: Watch The Shawshank Redemption
I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I watched this movie in one sitting. And confession: I completely, completely loved it. For some bizarre reason, it just makes me want to go to prison and sit back and watch what happens (just kidding, parents...). [[I'm not actually kidding, though]]
I also kind of want to go carve out all of the pieces for a chessboard. I'm really not picky on the rock type, though...
Some of my favorite quotes:
"The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry." -Brooks
"I guess it all comes down to a simple choice: you can get busy living, or get busy dying."- Andy
"That's all it takes, really. Pressure and time." -Red
"I have to remind myself that some birds just aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone." -Red
Moral of the story: good movie. Those were two hours very well spent.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
#15: Jump the can.
I know I don't have a hard job. I'm lucky to have the job that I do: I get to learn how non-profits work, be involved, AND play with kids. What's there NOT to love?
But at the same time, it can certainly be discouraging. I put a lot of effort into this program (most of the time), and the returns aren't always there. Kids are nonparticipatory, they backtalk, they fight with each other. And I'm reminded of the fact that I'm a college undergrad trying to do something about the effects of continued poverty. Riiiight....
Today, though. Today was a good day. And it was good because the kids had a game that I had never heard of, jump the can. They all knew it and loved it. They were regulating themselves, deciding what to do next. I essentially sat back, and watched my kids engage themselves in an activity in an incredibly peaceful manner.
Today was worth it.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
#15
Today, I am thankful for Nashville springs and the perpetual sunniness that I feel like we've had for a while. Sure, allergy season is TERRIBLE this year, but at least it's nice out. Imagine how much worse it would be if allergies were horrible AND it was cloudy/rainy/cold?!?!?!?
Sunday, April 11, 2010
#15: I'm Thankful for VISITORS!
#15 on my list is to recognize at least one thing every day that I am thankful for. And today (okay, I guess it was yesterday, but I'll count it for today), I am thankful for VISITORS in Nashville!
Usually, living 1000+ miles away from my family is fine. I’m used to it at this point. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t bother me at times. I realized that this year, I’ll have spent about 3 weeks in MA in a calendar year—- not much time at all.
Which is why it’s always SO WONDERFUL when visitors come into town, and I can see family members and friends in Nashville. This lovely spring weekend that visitor was my Uncle Mark, one of my mom’s brothers. We spent lunch together this Saturday, and it reminded me of how nice it is to see familiar faces.
But seeing people from home also reaffirms the fact that I am supposed to be here, for some reason. I still don’t know what that is; I might never figure it out… but regardless, today, I feel sure that I’ve made the correct decisions in my life with regards to the college I’ve chosen and the traveling that I’ve done. I feel confident it will be worth it.
*THE* List!
I just turned 21. I've been 21 for about ten days now. And yesterday, I reflected on my 20th year. Okay, that's a lie.... classes end in two weeks, so I was really just procrastinating. But for once, something really interesting came out of my procrastinatory efforts: 20 was amazing. 20 was FANTASTIC. 20 was new experiences, new countries, new ways of pushing my out of my comfort zone and discovering (however cliche) a new way of living my life. And I want 21 to be just as amazing. And 22. And 23. And 94.
So I made a list. I compiled 100 things that I want to accomplish in the next year. Some of them are stupid (like books I was supposed to read for AP English but never got to...), and some are more interesting and important to me. Some are selfish, and some involve helping other people.
But I'm determined, which is I guess what matters most. And I am confident that in 365 days I'll have crossed off everything on this list. Because NOT doing the 100 things is NOT on the list, so it isn't an option.
THE LIST
- Read the entire Bible, cover to cover
- Finish The Social Contract by Rousseau
- Learn to identify, by sight, the most common bird species in
- Watch the sun rise and set from the same location (I guess this is a fancy way of saying sleep outside…)
- Climb (at least) five trees in (at least) five different states
- Get to the top of another mountain
- Pet a monkey. Somehow, it will happen.
- Visit a zoo in every state in
- BEAST the GRE
- Visit
- Learn to cook GOOD food. And stop burning my pasta…
- Start using coffee for good, not evil. This means no more pouring it into my body in an attempt to stay awake. No no. This means enjoying mi café.
- Build something incredible out of Play-Doh.
- Develop healthy sleeping patterns. Preferably sleeping at night, every night, for a wholesome amount of time.
- Recognize one thing I am thankful for every day.
- Adopt an animal J (…okay, or buy, if I must….)
- Write one letter, handwritten, a week. Oh, and ACTUALLY send it.
- Remember to call home. Emails aren’t an adequate communication substitute.
- Mentor someone, one on one, in
- Start doing my laundry weekly, instead of “as needed” which ends up being “wear that dirty shirt until it is SO CLEARLY dirty it’s embarrassing to put it on”
- Laser tag.
- Visit Leah in
- Eat at Pfunky Griddle with Emily
- Visit Dinosaur World, in
- Visit the
- Go to the
- Karaoke
- Paint a house (Mom, I guess this one is for youJ )
- Run a half marathon
- Ride my bike to the ocean.
- Go to a Red Sox game!!
- Walk the Freedom Trail in as little times as humanly possible, while still paying attention to every single site.
- Go to Plimoth Plantation again.
- Do funny things on elevators
- Take Bobby to a big flea market
- Take pictures of people in a big city, just to creep them out (is this legal?)
- Go bungee jumping and/or skydiving
- Make homemade ketchup
- Drive some type of a construction vehicle
- Plant a garden
- …. Tend to said garden.
- Grow my hair out, and then donate it again.
- Go this entire year without buying/drinking bottled water.
- Get the people at Grins to know my name
- Bake one birthday cake a month. But for a person whose birthday it is. Not just to do it, nor to consume myself.
- Find Julianna housing for Summer 2010
- Eat less sugar. Okay, this is going to be HARD to measure. I mean, I can’t swear it off for a year (… or an hour), but I’m sure I can cut down on the candy/mints/sweets consumed.
- Re-learn every single cloud type, and learn to spot them in the sky.
*The following are in regards to the accusations that I don’t ever watch good movies. Which is true. Thus, to appease these people….
- Watch Citizen Kane
- Watch Crash
- Watch Fight Club
- Watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (mostly just so I know what people are doing when they say “Anyone…. Bueller? ….. Bueller?”)
- Watch King Kong (the 1933 edition)
- Watch Schindler’s List ….in ONE sitting!
- Watch Brian’s Song (I guess this one is for Dad…)
- Watch Time Traveler’s Wife
- Watch The Shawshank Redemption
- Watch Gone with the Wind
- …. Read Gone with the Wind….
- Press my own paper
- Bake vegan cookies that are just as delicious as the ones that are sold at Grins and Fido
- Plant a tree on Arbor Day!
- Visit a rainforest (Is it cheating when I know I’m actually going to be doing this? I mean, I guess something could happen and it wouldn’t end up occurring while I’m in
- Finger paint.
- Volunteer weekly for one cause that I’m passionate about. I don’t need to decide the cause or the passion now. But during the school year next year, it’s happening.
- Decide what my life will consist of upon graduation (which is Friday the 13thof May, 2011. Are you KIDDING?!?! Yeah, we’re all gonna be super lucky with THAT as our starting-off point!)
- Build a really cool sand structure. Amazing, even.
- Have Bobby teach me a song on the guitar.
- Learn all the words to Eternal Flame, which was the number one song on the day I was born
- See whales in the wild (I guess this is a more articulate way of saying I want to go on a whale watch in
- Sleep on top of MRBIII
- Learn how to make corn tortillas
- Learn how to juggle
- Start singing again, even it it’s just to/for myself
- Go on a Duck Tour in
- Buy something ridiculous at a yard sale
- Write funny limericks for everyone in my (immediate) family
- Go to the Elephant Sanctuary in
Aaaand I’ve also realized how few books I’ve read, TRULY READ, in my life. It’s actually kind of embarrassing… BUT I have a year to redeem myself!
- Read The Poisonwood Bible
- Read Pride and Prejudice
- Read Catcher in the
- Read The God of Small Things
- Read Atonement
- Read I Know This Much is True
- Read The Prince (and subsequently take over the world with my new found power)
- Read Slaughterhouse Five
- Read The Grapes of Wrath
- Read How to Win Friends and Influence People (I mean, if this self-help book has been around for nearly 75 years, it must have merits, right? And it should counter the new Machiavellian self that I discover while reading The Prince)
- Read The American Boys Handy Book. I think I might be most excited to read this one…..
- Do at least four things from The American Boys Handy Book. I bet I’ll be the best Boy Scout EVER.
- Learn to play poker. Correctly. Okay, I really want to turn this into “Learn how to count cards” but I’m really not sure I’m capable. So, even if that doesn’t happen, if I can really learn how to dominate five card draw, I’ll die happy.
- Give up soda for one month. Just one.
- Create a genuine savings account, not just a bank account with the title “Savings” that is separate from that which is called “Checking.”
- Go through my closet and get rid of EVERYTHING that should not be there. Stop holding onto things that are pointless to keep.
- Build my own kite and fly it, preferably by the beach
- Talk to a random stranger, and hear their story
- Change a car tire
- Donate blood regularly
- Get re-certified for CPR
- Learn how to golf. And try not to embarrass myself…..
....here goes nothing.
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